Hopeless Escape

oh yeah. FULL VIEW PLEASE!!

first, of all, i wanted to say this:
i'm REALLY sorry for smearing my (nick)name into the cloud, but because of deviantart's new policy, i wanted to make sure this doesn't get used without me having a tiny bit of credit (hey, i can dream, can't i?)

second of all....
i've actually been feeling like this for quite some time. very depressed. nervous breakdowns. hopeless thoughts without escape. putting my feelings down on paper/computer/....whatever was my last resort before resorting to less constructive means. so yeah. i've been planning something like this for quite some time, but now i finally got around to it.

third...
this is like, my fourth draft of it. i've made 3 other different drawings trying to depict the same thing, this one basically turned out the best. i've never really drawn... WET things before, so yeah. i might just have to blur the white highlights, but i think it worked out OK.

the depressed... hold their own umbrellas. surrounded by their inner demons and thoughts of unhappiness, they cannot find escape, there is no exit. while the world around them continues to shine and revolve, they cannot see it for they are surrounded by their own misgivings and darkness. their mind entraps them, and they cannot see the light. but.. hope is not lost, as there is a light. with help, they can find a way through the darkness, and back into the light. . .


lessee....

14-16 layers, but it's only so many because i accidentally duplicated one or two. it really only should have been like 6. ok.. counting layers..
lineart (mostly deleted, you're not going to see much of this)
signature (again, sorry for smearing this into the drawing, although i tried to make it look acceptable.)
rain (god i hate drawing rain. first time. jesus. you'd think someone like me would draw rain more often.)
hands (i will go back and edit those!)
'brella shading (highlights, too!)
umbrella (this one was like... blank. i think it was another duplicate.)
red umbrella (what the hell was the first one for?)
boy hair (although now i don't know if it's a guy or a girl)
boy shading
boy (flat colors) (at first it was supposed to be a girl. lol.)
sun (yeesh. terribly blended in with the clouds. terrible, i was gonna keep it seperate..)
cloudie clouds (hey, i spelled cloudy wrong!)
cloudie clouds (duplicated, it's the only one i remember making that mistake on, though there probably are others )
demon clouds (c'mon, look closely.)
background (consists of 3 colors, it's kinda hard to see now, god DAMN it was difficult.)

god, original lineart for this drawing was very messy and smudged, it took me like an hour to clean it up. an hour to scan it in right, too. jesus i'm lazy.

alright.. i'll give this one 6-7 hours max. although it will be undergoing some heavy editing, right after i finish with Never Look Back ( [link] ).